Read Kim’s Psychology Today blog, “The Novel Perspective: Life as a Work in Progress,” and other musings…
Imagine you live in a castle. One day, when you let down your drawbridge, you’re overrun by a horde of hungry hooligans. The rascals rummage through your halls, plunder your pantry, and consume all your food and booze, leaving a trail of mayhem. As you enter the scene, you feel your temper rising. However, you hold […]
Maria was a 31-year-old artist who sought help to disentangle herself from a dysfunctional relationship with an emotionally abusive man. For the past few weeks, she had been seized by a compulsion to paint self portraits. She portrayed her likeness from various angles, experimenting with different hues and styles. She explained that she had “lost […]
When I was young, one of my favorite books was Sugarcane Island, which was the first “choose your own adventure” type of interactive book. The premise was fairly simple: You had been shipwrecked on a deserted island. The goal was survival and finding your way home. At the end of each chapter was a list of […]
Have you ever noticed that the same type of character keeps showing up in your life and pushing all your buttons? These people may look nothing alike or even share the same gender, but they keep presenting you with more or less the same frustrations and issues. Or perhaps it’s not a certain person but […]
In the movie Stranger than Fiction, Harold Crick is a robotic IRS agent who begins to question his mundane existence when he hears a mysterious voice narrating his life and foreshadowing his untimely death. When he discovers that he is not the master of his own destiny, but rather a fictional character dreamed up by an […]
As a psychotherapist in private practice, I can’t help but notice that Facebook is wreaking mischief in some of my clients’ personal lives. One client caused a family scandal when he established privacy settings that prevented some, but not all, of his relatives from seeing his status updates. A 14-year-old client gave up Facebook for […]
Lately, I’ve noticed more clients using text messages to discuss or argue about unresolved issues in their relationships. As someone who is all thumbs with my thumbs, I’m always amazed that people have the digital dexterity to carry on a reasonably coherent text dialogue for longer than two minutes. But personal challenges aside, texting is […]
Once in a while, when a conversation with someone I care about takes an unexpected turn that is not to my liking, I am tempted to stand up and yell “C-U-U-U-U-T!” “Excuse me,” I imagine myself saying, leaning over the person’s shoulder, megaphone dangling at my hip. “But you are not following the script. Your […]
Change is the one constant in life. And yet, we are often surprised when it comes. Parentsreward us for mastering routines of hygiene and self-discipline. Our educational system grooms us for progressive levels of security, reinforcing the belief that skill mastery yields the predictable comforts of a settled life. As we age, we are measured […]
JK Rowling reminds us that true magic lies within us As a psychotherapist who works with young adults, I often allude to pop culture in my private practice. So when my 20-something client and professed Harry Potter devotee grew anxious about a dreaded trans-coastal visit to her Dementor of a mother-in law in Los Angeles, […]
