Read Kim’s Psychology Today blog, “The Novel Perspective: Life as a Work in Progress,” and other musings…
Whenever I’m faced with a difficult conversation about an emotionally charged issue, I always ask myself, “How can I listen in a way that is open to really taking in what the other person shares? How do I not immediately get caught in needing to prove that I’m right? What I can get curious about […]
I recently bumped into an old friend who had been struggling emotionally. As I opened my mouth to ask for an update, I stopped. In a flash, I recalled times of turmoil when that simple, well-intended question had stung, forcing me to choose between a perfunctory response or vulnerability and shame. So instead of “how […]
Several years ago, I participated in a group exercise at a job orientation that became a guiding metaphor about how to remain connected to my inner voice amid the noise of modern life. The goal of the exercise was to walk from one end of a large room to the other, blindfolded, while navigating an […]
Imagine you live in a castle. One day, when you let down your drawbridge, you’re overrun by a horde of hungry hooligans. The rascals rummage through your halls, plunder your pantry, and consume all your food and booze, leaving a trail of mayhem. As you enter the scene, you feel your temper rising. However, you hold […]
Maria was a 31-year-old artist who sought help to disentangle herself from a dysfunctional relationship with an emotionally abusive man. For the past few weeks, she had been seized by a compulsion to paint self portraits. She portrayed her likeness from various angles, experimenting with different hues and styles. She explained that she had “lost […]
When I was young, one of my favorite books was Sugarcane Island, which was the first “choose your own adventure” type of interactive book. The premise was fairly simple: You had been shipwrecked on a deserted island. The goal was survival and finding your way home. At the end of each chapter was a list of […]
Have you ever noticed that the same type of character keeps showing up in your life and pushing all your buttons? These people may look nothing alike or even share the same gender, but they keep presenting you with more or less the same frustrations and issues. Or perhaps it’s not a certain person but […]
In the movie Stranger than Fiction, Harold Crick is a robotic IRS agent who begins to question his mundane existence when he hears a mysterious voice narrating his life and foreshadowing his untimely death. When he discovers that he is not the master of his own destiny, but rather a fictional character dreamed up by an […]
As a psychotherapist in private practice, I can’t help but notice that Facebook is wreaking mischief in some of my clients’ personal lives. One client caused a family scandal when he established privacy settings that prevented some, but not all, of his relatives from seeing his status updates. A 14-year-old client gave up Facebook for […]
Lately, I’ve noticed more clients using text messages to discuss or argue about unresolved issues in their relationships. As someone who is all thumbs with my thumbs, I’m always amazed that people have the digital dexterity to carry on a reasonably coherent text dialogue for longer than two minutes. But personal challenges aside, texting is […]
