Kim Schneiderman
Psychotherapist, Author, Columnist, Writing Workshops

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Writing as a Path to Self Compassion

How shifting your perspective can help you see yourself through gentler eyes

If you’re like many people, accessing self-compassion can be a bit like searching your desk for reading glasses that are dangling over your chest. You didn’t lose your lenses, you just needed to know where to look. It’s possible to see challenging life chapters as personal growth adventures by writing about the obstacles you face […]

Filed Under: Blog, Media

Healing the Wounds That Bind and Why They Don’t Define Us

The path to wholeness begins by embracing our "broken" places

Dana was in tears. Once again, she had engaged in scheduling acrobatics to meet a new friend for a romantic getaway, only to find herself alone in a hotel room with unanswered text messages and her self-destructive history with men.  “I feel like I have a hole inside me,” she said, as we began her therapy session. […]

Filed Under: Blog, Media

Are You Carrying Baggage That Doesn’t Belong to You?

The difference between caring and caretaking

Imagine you’re walking down a path when you encounter a stranger carrying a boulder. Suppose the person bemoans their aching back and offers a litany of reasons why they can’t put the rock down. Feeling your heart tug, you might point to the slab of granite in your own arms and say, “So sorry. I […]

Filed Under: Blog, Media

Speaking about the power of narrative in Real Simple Magazine

Filed Under: Media

My Interview on “Your Winning Life Podcast”

Filed Under: Interviews, Media

A New Chapter in the Hudson Valley

A little over a year ago, in the height of the pandemic, I stepped out of my story and began a new chapter in the beautiful Hudson Valley.  I had no clear, long-term vision. In fact, I’ve stopped sticking to plans, as they rarely stick to me. Instead, when I get the itch to shake […]

Filed Under: Articles & Essays, Media

Believe It or Not, Your Anxiety Loves You

Like an over-protective parent, it just wants you to be safe

Imagine you grew up in a castle. Maybe you felt relatively safe until, one day, the King and Queen left the drawbridge down and a hungry hooligan snuck into your room and stole your favorite lollipop. Or maybe you were constantly being over-run by starving hooligans, and nobody noticed or cared that you were scared […]

Filed Under: Blog, Media

Searching for Hope on the Dark Side

Destruction, rebirth and other lessons from the abyss

Lately, I’ve been plumbing the depths of the underworld for clues about how to navigate a global pandemic and national cataclysm. No, I’m not holding seances or sticking pins in effigies of megalomaniacs, tempting as that may be. But rather, I’m turning to stories and symbols of human encounters with the forces of destruction in […]

Filed Under: Blog, Media

How to Reframe Your Narrative About Challenging Relationships

Imagine your nemesis as the personal trainer of your emotional muscle workout

Every human relationship, whether familial, romantic, or platonic, is more or less an ambitious, hopeful, but potentially hazardous psycho-chemistry experiment. When you combine two unique sets of genetics, backgrounds, and life experiences, you never know whether you’ll get sparks, combustion, or something in between. Most of us aspire to the sparks and “in between,” anticipating the […]

Filed Under: Blog, Media

Projection as Protection

How to stop taking things personally that have nothing to do with you

Sometimes, despite your good intentions and clear communication, you can still get blamed for something that isn’t your fault. Once you’ve reflected on your possible role in the situation, it’s important not to take on emotional baggage that isn’t yours, lest it weigh you down. For a variety of self-protective reasons, some people are simply […]

Filed Under: Blog, Media

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Feeling Seen and Connected:

An 8-Week Healing Journey for Enneagram 4’s and their Parts

  • Do you often feel misunderstood?
  • Do you envy other’s ease, lightheartedness, and vitality?
  • Do you consider bad artistic taste and lack of originality a capital crime?

If you answered “yes” to a few of these, then there’s a chance you are a “4” in the Enneagram personality system. And that’s a good thing. The Enneagram is a non-hierarchal model that recognizes nine, interconnected types, each with their own unique gifts, vulnerabilities, and paths to self actualization.

Often described as “Artists,” “Romantics” and “Individualists,” Type 4s tend to be creative, self-aware, emotionally honest, empathetic, and highly attuned to meaning and beauty. Yet, type Fours can at times feel like melancholy unicorns, believing that the world doesn’t value what they have to offer, and may therefore question their worth.

That’s why I’m offering an 8-week group for Type 4s that will explore the intersection between the enneagram with Internal Family Systems, a holistic therapeutic model that believes we all possess of core spiritual self and a constellation of parts that help us survive and thrive.

Through psycho-education, interactive sharing, meditations, and writing exercises, you will: deepen your understanding of your parts and how they align with the enneagram regard more entrenched parts of your personality with more compassion and humor feel seen, appreciated, supported, and connected to others recognize your gifts and place in the world; and tap into your innate source of vitality, peace, and inspiration

When: Thursdays, 7 – 9 p.m. EST

Where: Online Dates: 9/29, 10/6, 10/27, 11/3, 11/10, 11/17, 12/1, 12/8

Cost: $399 for 8 weeks

A brief free screening is required for group participation.

For more information, please email me at 914-393-6501.


Reframe Your Narrative About Challenging Relationships

A 10-week Online Course with DailyOM

Tired of people pushing your buttons? For as little as $10 total, you can liberate yourself from self-defeating patterns around people who trigger you. Register here to receive 10 weekly insights, writing exercises, and guided meditations you can access whenever you want.

Lesson 1:  Soul Narrative vs. Self-Defeating Story
Lesson 2:  Exploring the Power of Choice and Voice
Lesson 3:  Your Adversary as Your Personal Trainer
Lesson 4:  Embracing Your Strengths and Superpowers
Lesson 5:  Getting to Know Your Inner Antagonist(s)
Lesson 6:  Dialoguing with the Parts that Get Triggered
Lesson 7:  The Yoga of Character Development
Lesson 8:  Supporting Characters, Tools and Resources
Lesson 9:  Giving Ourselves the Blessing We Seek
Lesson 10: The Golden Happy Ending

A FULL HOUSE AT THE NYC BOOK SIGNING!

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About The Author: Kim Schneiderman

Psychotherapist and freelance journalist Kim Schneiderman utilizes research-based methods to help people who are stuck – in a dead-end job, relationship, of life stage – imagine themselves as the star of their own stories with the power to reclaim their personal narratives. Drawing on the elements of a story that many of us learned in high school (premise, scene, plot, conflict, climax, resolution), readers will assign titles to different chapters of their lives, observe recurring themes, identify supporting characters, and explore how conflict creates opportunities for personal growth that can lead to a meaningful resolution. They will also be asked to examine how the decisions we make, both big and small, affect our storyline – the relationships we choose, how we spend our day, and how we nourish ourselves, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Unlike most self-help writing workbooks, most of the exercises in Step Out of Your Story are framed in the third-person voice, freeing readers to see beyond their usual point of view. Psychological research suggests that people are more likely to view their lives favorably when they see themselves as characters in a story. In a 2005 Columbia University study reported in the Journal of Psychological Science, test subjects who spoke about difficult chapters in their lives in the third person narrative displayed more confidence and optimism than those who recalled bad memories in the first person. By retracing their steps from the perch of the third-person narrative, people were more likely to regard their problems as something outside themselves – challenges they had conquered or adversaries they had defeated - instead of character flaws. Additionally, the perception that they had overcome obstacles left them feeling more confident to face the future.

Step Out Of Your Story

STEP OUT OF YOUR STORY

Writing Exercises to Reframe and Transform Your Life

Every life is an unfolding story, and how individuals tell their story matters. Recent Stanford and Columbia University studies show that how we view the story of our life shapes the life itself. Who are the heroes and villains? Where does the plot twist? How are conflicts resolved? Learn more...

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