Kim Schneiderman
Psychotherapist, Author, Columnist, Writing Workshops

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What to Say When You’re Not OK

Once Upon a Couch

Question: This spring, I will be getting divorced. Because everyone is in such good spirits, I feel like I have to pretend that I’m OK, but I’m devastated. When people ask how I am, I never know how much to share.

When you’re in crisis, a simple “How are you?” can feel like the prelude to a hug or a punch in the gut, depending on who’s asking and when/where the question is being asked. From a trusted friend, it can feel like a much-welcomed invitation to unburden your heart. But from a colleague or acquaintance, it can serve as a reminder that you’re not OK as you find yourself fighting back emotions.

Sometimes, keeping up appearances is necessary and unavoidable, particularly in professional situations. But pretending can also be exhausting, especially when your emotional resources are already taxed. It also perpetuates the idea that it’s somehow shameful to be sad, even though your feelings are completely understandable. Read more…

http://www.metro.us/kim-schneiderman/what-to-say-when-you-re-not-okay/zsJoer—jeG7zrduhJnM/

Filed Under: Columns

Comments

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    Reply
  2. my blog says

    September 8, 2015 at 1:02 am

    Great post. I’m experiencing some of these issues as well..

    Reply
  3. why not look here says

    September 9, 2015 at 5:45 am

    Greetings! Very useful advice within this post! It is the little changes that make the most significant changes. Thanks a lot for sharing!

    Reply
  4. Ann Miggo says

    January 24, 2016 at 10:04 pm

    Great post. Thanks for the read.

    Reply
  5. Noreen Langon says

    January 26, 2016 at 9:52 am

    Good article, thanks.

    Reply
  6. Johana Clenney says

    January 27, 2016 at 11:35 am

    Great post. Thanks for the read.

    Reply

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About The Author: Kim Schneiderman

Psychotherapist and freelance journalist Kim Schneiderman utilizes research-based methods to help people who are stuck – in a dead-end job, relationship, of life stage – imagine themselves as the star of their own stories with the power to reclaim their personal narratives. Drawing on the elements of a story that many of us learned in high school (premise, scene, plot, conflict, climax, resolution), readers will assign titles to different chapters of their lives, observe recurring themes, identify supporting characters, and explore how conflict creates opportunities for personal growth that can lead to a meaningful resolution. They will also be asked to examine how the decisions we make, both big and small, affect our storyline – the relationships we choose, how we spend our day, and how we nourish ourselves, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

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